I read your book. It's on my iPhone so I can re-read portions whenever I want!
Thank you for being obedient to God and telling your story so that others can
My husband and I have been separated for 4 months. It has truly been the most
agonizing time of my life. During this time God has become real to me. I have been
a Christian for years, since I was a young child, but I am just now beginning to
realize the difference between believing in Jesus and really choosing to live for him.
God has revealed to me the ways in which I contributed to my marital problems.
I was often a disrespectful wife. I didn't honor him. I was bitter, angry, and
resentful. I didn't realize the special role a wife can play in the life of her husband,
offering support and encouragement, praying for him. I didn't know that in refusing
to trust and submit to him, that I was really refusing to trust and submit to God.
Worst of all, my relationship with him became more important than my relationship
to God. And God is a jealous God, so I can understand why I am now in this situation.
Because I now understand what God has done for me, his true love for me, my love
for my husband has grown. I love him more now than the day we were married.
I realize that without God it is impossible to love others because you cannot give
what you do not have.
I have asked my husband for forgiveness for the ways in which I hurt him. He
said he forgives me, but he has made no attempts to reconcile. We have not
spoken in more than 2 months. He will not respond to calls or e-mails. The holidays
without word from him were very difficult for my son and I. The rejection is
overwhelming. I do not understand what is happening.
So many times I want to give up, to file for divorce, to walk away from this. But
God keeps telling me to be silent and to wait. I am afraid. What if God changes
me and my husband never allows me the opportunity to make it right? How will
my husband ever see the true changes in me when he refuses to see me or
talk to me?
When I read your book, my Spirit was encouraged. In my heart, I believe God
has called me for "such a time as this". That my actions and my responses
matter very much because my changes and my obedience will be used to bring my
husband to a right relationship with God. I want my marriage to be restored,
but I want my hubsand to have a relationship with Jesus more.
When we first separated, I was angry and I asked God why I should wait to
be wanted. He said, "I had to wait for you to want a relationship with me". Ouch.
Four months later, when my situation has not changed, I sometimes become afraid
I heard God wrong. Maybe Satan is trying to confuse me. Maybe God will
not restore my marriage, maybe that is only what I want. A few days ago I
prayed that God would show me if I needed to keep waiting. He
told me to stop asking and stop doubting, that he was the Great Shepherd and his
sheep knew his voice. He told me that he would restore my marriage but I needed
to stop striving and rest because there was nothing I could do other than be obedient.
I'm sure you must receive dozens of e-mails from women just like me. But I ask that
you would pray for me. For hope, for peace, for healing and restoration. But that
most of all God would continue to change ME.